


I surrender to the strawberry ice cream

by Lassasymphonie



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Drama, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lassasymphonie/pseuds/Lassasymphonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s seven in the morning, Dick has already messaged him twice, and he needs a date for family dinner tonight. Also, the coffee machine is broken. Tim’s <i>so</i> not prepared for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a line of Accidentally In Love. Yes, that song from Counting Crows. ~~I regret absolutely nothing :D~~  
> 
> 
> ~~Do I really need to say the characters don't belong to me. I mean. Everyone of you know that already.~~   
> 
> 
> This story disregards any canon about the comics, and further. ~~At least, I think.~~ Keeping characters _in character_ is also hard when you don't have quite the grasp on them. My hand slipped a lot, though. Which means that I'm not _that_ concerned about OOC-ness. ~~Chill out, people, I'm just here to have fun. If that's not your cup of tea, just don't drink it.~~  
> 
> 
> The plotbunny wouldn't leave me alone. I _might_ have the beginning of the second chapter being written by now, but no promises. ~~My muse tends to run away screaming bloody murder more often than not, and I still haven't figured out how to keep her here.~~ Anyway, this is just me trying to break off my habits of writing angst and angst only with tiny bits of happiness here and there.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy :D

## 

Chapter One: How (Not) To Ask Someone Out On A Fake Date

#### 

Alternatively: Tim wants to hide under his bed and never come out again

Thinking back about how the situation came to this, and the current state of his pride, Tim is absolutely sure: this whole mess is not his fault. Family dinner was _Dick’s idea_. _He’s_ the one to blame. Sure, maybe Tim shouldn’t have lied about Kon, and maybe he shouldn’t have also told that fake story involving the coffee shop a few blocks away from his house, and‒ okay, yeah maybe it’s partially his fault, whatever, but. _Family. Dinner_. What kind of person makes his little brother go through the embarrassment and _hell_ of introducing their — absolutely _fake, invented, non-existent_ — date to the family? Tim’s always known that under that cheerfulness and sympathy of his, Dick only ever wanted to sit and watch the whole world burn. That pretty face of his doesn’t hide anything.

Though, his older brother doesn’t know that there’s no real boyfriend — otherwise, Tim’s sure he wouldn’t have suggested anything; Dick may like to mess with his little brothers from time to time, but he’s not that cruel (or maybe he is, in fact, a sadistic little shit. Tim doesn’t really want to know).

A sigh escapes his mouth. What was the whole problem about telling the truth, anyway? He knows his family wouldn’t judge him. He _knows_. And at the same… Damn. Damn him and his liar tendencies. Tim isn’t quite ready to face another relationship, that much he can admit to himself. Not yet, not so soon. Not when he still sees Kon every other day in college and… Yeah. Maybe he just wanted to let his family at ease with him, make them stop worrying. Maybe he just wanted…

His phone makes a low chirp and vibrates somewhere near his left hand. Tim fumbles through the blankets, refusing to properly lift his head from the pillow and squinting at the brightness of the screen when he finally catches the thing.

**[from: Dick, 06:35 a.m.] don’t get mad at me** — is the first one… That makes no sense at all until the second message arrives.

**[from: Dick, 06:35 a.m.] I may or not may have told Cass about tonight. They’re all coming.**

Tim groans. Dear God. It’s too early for this shit. _Way_ too early. If he really wants to find a way and deal with this — he’ll need coffee. _A lot_ of coffee.

  
  
  
  
  


“Oh, no. No, no, no, no, _don’t do this to me_!”

Unaware of his panicked pleas, the coffee machine just makes another so-not-okay noise, and then. Just. Stops working.

Tim holds back his sudden urge to scream. How has his life suddenly become this succession of bad jokes and messed up things with a heartbreak stuck somewhere between his last appointment and college stuff? _Goddamnit_. Part of him knows he should deal with this like any reasonable twenty year old man, but Tim’s just been denied his daily dose of coffee. He doesn’t _want_ to be reasonable. And maybe that’s what drives him to take his keys from over the counter and, reasonableness be damned, go out, determined to reach the coffee shop from a few blocks away — the very same cafeteria from where he placed most of his fake dates on the fake love story about his fake boyfriend. Go figure why he didn’t talk about a fake coffee shop too.

He has no excuse for his Superman pajama pants, though. Or the fact that he merely brushed his teeth after getting up from bed, and his hair is still a mess. When the guy who lives on second floor enters the elevator with Tim and stares at him for what must be a whole fifteen seconds, he muses over going back home and changing his clothes.

But then. Coffee. A person’s gotta have their priorities, right? It’s not like Tim cares that much about what others might think of him, anyway.

(Except that he does. Sometimes. When he’s feeling extremely self-conscious, what might or not might be triggered by hours musing over his crazy family dynamics. Or his only romantic relationship, that failed spectacularly for a boy who likes thinking he can somehow avoid his problems if he predicts them. Both of which he’s been doing a lot lately. And it doesn’t mean he’s being self-conscious. Not at all.)

Thankfully, his walk doesn’t take too long. Tim’s greeted with the amazing smell of recently brewed coffee — that sometimes manages to be ever better than the taste of the drink itself —, and his body is quick on reacting to it, guiding him to the counter where a redheaded employee he’s never seen yawns and stretches his arms.

“Good morning.” the guy says, and, staring at his sleepy eyes, Tim can’t help but to empathize with the emotion in them, because, yeah. Waking up this early kinda sucks.

“Morning.” he mutters back, and glances briefly at the menu. “Uh… I would like a… Long macchiato… 20 oz.” Tim squints briefly. “And no cocoa. Please.”

To his credit, the employee doesn’t even blink. He probably thinks Tim is one of those college students with weird sleeping patterns and whose caffeine addiction stops him from functioning properly before midday — which is not that far from the truth. While waiting for his order, Tim takes his time to look around the shop, noticing that except for two girls, one blonde and the other brunette, sitting on the far corner next to the exit, there’s pretty much no one around.

“It’s $7.” the employee’s voice brings him looking back to the counter. The redhead is with his coffee in hands.

“Here.” Tim gives him the money, retrieving his drink. “Thank you… Uh…” and squints briefly. The name on the ID is “Harper, R.”, but that doesn’t help him at all.

“Roy.” the guy offers.

“Roy.” Tim repeats, and then nods at him before turning his back to the counter. He may want to remember this name later. Roy seems a nice guy — or at least a very professional employee (the last one wouldn’t stop staring at Tim whenever he showed up in slippers. It was a bit unnerving.)

Well. Anyway. Tim stops in the middle of the shop for a moment, to rub his eyes and take a sip of the cup in his hands. Then he sighs for none reason that not _caffeine_ — the warmness from the drink spreads down his body, his shoulders instantly relaxing, his problems forgotten if for only a second. Tim blinks, feeling the restlessness going away just as fast as the remaining sleepiness of his brain. He looks around again, to the nearly empty coffee shop, and tells himself: why not?, before settling down at the nearest table. 

(Later that night he’ll remember it as being one of the bad decisions that lead him falling down the spiral of Most Embarassing Things To Ever Happen In Your Life — the first bad decision being deciding to leave his apartment)

  
  


It’s not the guy’s fault. Not really… Well. No. Actually, it kind of is. He’s the one to enter the shop running, after all. He’s the one to get his foot stuck in one of the the foot of the table, and send Tim’s newly bought cup of coffee — the second one of the day — flying to his chest. Maybe Tim shouldn’t have screamed, nor stood the way he did, but you don’t get a boiling cup of coffee on your chest everyday. It _hurt_ , thank you very much, and he wasn’t happy. Seven dollars and his drink, absolutely _wasted_.

None of his very much annoyed talk ever came to be said, though — because when he lifts his face, Tim locks his gaze with the most beautiful blue eyes he’s ever seen, and it renders him speechless. It would be funny, even, the way his calculated words never became, in fact, words, if not for the fact that the guy looks at him in what must be horror and a bit of embarrassment, and the only thing Tim does is stare back like a dead fish.

“Ow, shi‒ sorry, man!”

He seems to be sorry. He does. His hand even does a weird brief motion, like he’s going to get some napkins or whatever and try and clean off the mess off of the table and off of Tim’s chest — or it could be just light effect, no one knows. The thing is: it’s okay. The slight annoyance that rose from being hit by his own boiling drink was plummeted the moment Tim looked to the very red, thin lips of the perpetrator of the crime. And he could’ve said about something cool, or simply shrugged off the incident and told the guy to chill out, but instead of his carefully considered responses, what comes out is a very stupid, not even barely pondered over, “We should totally go out on a date.”

(And, damn it. Tim’s _so_ not prepared for this.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to my sister, the name of this story should be "The Fault is in Dick". ~~I agree.~~
> 
> This is basically Jason. And a bit of Roy. But mostly, I'll try to keep the story Tim-centric. I just accepted that whenever I write Jason, things tend to go angsty. ~~Which means I have to rewrite it. A lot.~~ Anyway, even though it was a bit difficult to keep the humour, I tried.
> 
>  ~~How does a person answer comments. Does anyone volunteer to help me with that. My lack of social skills covers this part. And mostly my whole life. Help.~~ Thank you for the feedback on the last chapter, people! :3
> 
> All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy :D

## 

Chapter Two: The Guy On The Coffee Shop

#### 

Alternatively: Jason’s not used to people asking him out after he drops boiling coffee on them

#### 

Alternatively²: Roy’s a little shit and Jason’s life makes no sense

Jason had been expecting a lot of things from the guy with the oversized t-shirt soaked in coffee and Superman pajama pants. Maybe for the other to yell at him and storm out of the coffee shop, and then come back seconds later, demanding a refund over his ruined shirt. Maybe just a glare. Maybe a total outburst resulting in one of those people who throw themselves into someone else’s arms and cry their eyes out — and that would be totally uncomfortable but. Not exactly surprising (it had happened once).

What he _hadn’t_ expected, however, was for the guy to _ask him out_. It probably excuses his reaction — which was basically… Nothing. For real, what does a person even answers to something like this?

And it’s not even that the — boy? man? Damn, Jason wishes he could be a bit better at guessing people’s ages — is ugly, per se. The delicate shape of his mouth, the doe eyes, the black hair; Jason could even dare and say he’s very beautiful, by any kind of standards. But if the sole fact that he’s just asked a stranger out — a stranger who dropped _boiling_ coffee on him, above all else — is anything to go by, Jason would say this person isn’t exactly _normal_. He doesn’t even _seem_ angry, which is probably the reason why Jason just frowns at him and opens and closes his mouth with audible clicks as he tries to come up with something to say.

(Something along the lines of _what_ with _are you crazy_ and maybe a bit of _yeah, we totally should_ , but it’s not as if he’s ever admitting it because, _hello. Stranger_.)

He ends up doing none of that, because the guy, turning red as a tomato, runs off of the coffee shop, leaving a still dumbfounded Jason behind.

Really. _What. The. Actual. Fuck_. The only thing that stops Jason from — god forbid — going after him (and doing something stupid, for sure, because by impulse he only does stupid things) is the loud, scandalous laugh that comes from somewhere behind him. But he knows Roy’s a little shit, so he’s not surprised from turning to look at him and finding his friend bending over the counter and holding on to his stomach for dear life.

“What?” Jason grunts to him, somewhat scandalized that Roy — who’s _never_ going to let him live this down — got to witness the whole thing, and somewhat annoyed by the fact that he had something important to tell his friend, but can’t remember what it was.

A whole eternity of seconds passes by before Roy can actually contain himself, wiping out the tears of his eyes.

“Good gods, Jason.” the redhead takes a second or two to breathe before smirking at him. “Don’t you know any less dramatic way of getting someone’s attention? The poor guy didn’t even see what hit him!”

Jason immediately feels the faint warmth of the blush spreading over his face.

“I wasn’t‒!” he stutters, and then proceeds to squash down a wave of embarrassment at his own naivety. Though luck: Roy doesn’t much as glances at him before bursting out laughing again.

“Ah-ha! You were totally going to accept that, wasn’t you? Boy, I wish I had a camera, just so I could’ve filmed both of your faces!”

“Tch. Shouldn’t you be working, or something?” Jason’s getting defensive. He knows Roy’s not doing it to get under his skin, but it’s very hard to convince himself otherwise. This may or not may have been the sole reason for most of their fights during all the years they’ve known each other — and he would be lying if he said he didn’t regret punching Roy as much as he did but, hey, no one’s asking.

“Relax, sunflower.” Roy supports his left elbow on the counter, dropping his chin on his hand. “Look around.”

Jason does so. He’s not surprised to see the place empty — it’s early, and he knows from his own experience that most of the earlier clients from this place decided to quit coming around after the last employee threw a tantrum —, but his ears burn nonetheless.

He opens his mouth, possibly to say something along the lines of “fuck you”, because, really, _sunflower_?, when there’s a loud sound of crashing glass somewhere near. He frowns.

“Damn.” Roy runs to a door — “employees only” says a plate — that stands just close to the counter, screaming something along the lines of “I told you not to touch the stove!” and “Dear god, where’s Wally when we need him most?”

Jason shakes his head, sighing. Not that he doesn’t have any faith in his friend, but he truly, truly hopes that Roy’s not going to burn the building down — his cooking skills are good like that —, at least not while he’s here.

He sighs. Yeah, no use thinking about this. There’s still a whole day to go and, _god_ , he’ll be damned if he stays here all morning. Sure, Jason doesn’t have exactly a lot of friends, but staying all morning here with Roy surely will result in a few punches being thrown around, and he’s not exactly fond of the idea of the redhead losing his job — after all, Jason may be an ass sometimes, but he knows when to stop.

A soft, unknown ringtone pushes Jason out of his thoughts. He looks at the ground, where a brown wallet and a black cell phone stand, and, cautiously, picks the phone — “Dick” is the name on bright white letters on the screen, which means nothing at all to him. Jason muses over what to do for what must be a split second before pressing the green button.

(Most. Stupid. Decision. _Ever_.)

“... Hello?”

“Who’s there?” and not a second late, “Tim?”

“No, I, uh‒” Jason licks his lips nervously. Tim? Was that the guy…? “He forgot his phone, I’m just‒”

“Wait. Who’s talking?”

“I‒ Jason.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence.

“... Jason?” more silence. He feels his stomach dropping. Talking through a cell phone has never been exactly his most favourite thing to do.

“Look, I’m sorry I picked up, I‒” what’s his excuse? Curiosity? One doesn’t go around picking up people’s phones, that’s for sure. Jason has no idea what he’s going to say, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem, because on the exact moment he decides he’s just going to hang up and good manners be damned, the guy on the other side starts talking again.

“Oh my god. You’re my brother’s boyfriend!”

“I am _what_?” Jason feels his eyes getting wide.

“Dammit, Tim’s going to be so mad at me!... Or you. Am I supposed to meet you already, or was this a miscalculation of his part? This is strange, Tim usually doesn’t miscalculate things...”

“I hate to break it to you, but, uh, I’m no one’s‒”

“Ok, ok, anyway! You coming tonight, right? I really hope you are, the whole family’s excited to meet you!” through the line, a faint _Dick!_ shout from somewhere apparently near can be heard. “Ow, man, sorry, I gotta go now. Tell Timmy not to forget the dinner’s at eight; god knows how easily he forgets things when he’s nervous. See you around, Jason! Bye!”

Before he can protest, there’s an audible click, and the line goes silent. Jason stares at the phone screen indignantly, torn between thinking this is the most crazy thing that has ever happened to him — and he’s had his fair share of crazy things happening to his life, seriously — and being confused.

Roy decides that now is the best time to come back from the “employees only” door, sending him a somewhat suspiciously stare.

“Jay? What are you doing?”

Jason blinks. Looks at his friend, at the phone in his hands, and then the other way around.

“Jay?”

“I gotta go.” he answers simply, and turns his back on his friend, retrieving the fallen wallet on the ground. He has a Tim‒something to find, and a cell phone and a wallet to return — and, apparently, a guy who thinks Jason is his brother’s date. Which he’s not.

What did he just get himself into…?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole month. Wow. That I've managed to finish the chapter before someone ( ~~hey, sis'~~ ) tried to kill me must be a record or something. This is the longest so far, though, so maybe the length will make up for the delay?
> 
> Okay, I know it's not, but I can dream, right? ~~Yeah, I did enough of talking already. I know.~~ Also, this is totally random, but I would like to tell I'm coming around answering the comments this same moment. ~~I just need a bit more coffee.~~ Hopefully you'll still be here */hides under the bed*
> 
> All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy :D

## 

Chapter Three: Deal

#### 

Alternatively: Jason makes poor life decisions

Tim’s torn between hiding under his bed and never coming out, or buying tickets to the farthest country that can possibly exist, just so the possibility that he will find the guy from the coffee shop is kept somewhere on the scale of none and _impossible_ — whatever is that comes first —, when his doorbell rings.

He’s not expecting for anyone, and it’s somewhere around eight in the morning of the most embarrassing Saturday of his life. Tim ponders over not going to open the door (but then, maybe it’s the son of the lady who lives the floor above, and Tim _did_ promise him he would get his PSP to work again).

With a sigh that conveys both his dread for the day and his wish to come back to his room and crawl under the heavy blankets, Tim stands from his bed. He really hopes it’s not Dick, or — god forbid — one of his sisters. Cass may take pity on him and help him through the lie, or come up with something and give him a way to skip family dinner, but he doesn’t think she’ll take too well being lied to. Nor will Kate. Steph — well, it’s complicated. Damian will probably hate him a little bit more — there’s nothing that Tim does that doesn’t anger the boy, but this may be a bit too much, especially now that they just started getting better at this whole “brother bonding” thing. And Terry, Tim’s not really sure what to think about Terry. They’ve never been that close. Surely, though, he will take offense — because Tim’s life likes to be funny like this.

(Maybe, if he pretends he’s not here the person will go away? He can always fix the PSP later, after all.)

The doorbell rings again.

(Ok, maybe not.)

  
  
  
  
  


Very red, thin lips. Icy blue eyes. Dark hair.

_You gotta be kidding me_. Tim’s not that religious. He went to church when he was younger, learned things that the priest said, and that was that — as he grew up, going to church started getting on second plan, always behind school, family, friends, things like that. Still, even though he’s not one to believe much in these kind of things, he’s pretty sure: there must be some kind of strength, God, whatever is that people want to call, seriously laughing their asses off. If this is their idea of funny — well, Tim’s not amused.

“You forgot your‒”

“I’m sorry!” Tim blurts out, startling them both. How does he even starts explaining? “You see, I didn’t mean to come off as creepy, I just‒! You took me by surprise and I usually don’t go asking people out and‒” the stranger winces softly, and Tim thinks about what he said. “Uh, it’s not that you’re not attractive, you are, just, I mean, that’s not, uh, I just wanted to‒” staring at the confused — _amused_ — glance the stranger sends him, Tim stops talking. There’s just a brief moment of an awkward silence, one in which he ponders over what he’s going to say, just so he won’t embarrass himself further. “How did you find me?”

“Oh…” the stranger’s whole stance turns a bit tense, like he’s still considering whether coming was a good idea or not. “I, uh, asked around if someone had seen you.” his lips turn up just slightly. “An old lady wasn’t sure we were talking about the same person until I mentioned your Superman pajama pants.”

“The janitor?” he’s consciously avoiding to talk about his pajama.

“I asked if Tim lived here, and he let me in.” a shrug.

“How do you know my name?” Tim’s startled. Not just by the janitor (whom with he’s going to have a serious conversation about how _he can’t just let strangers into Tim’s apartment even if he thinks it’s weird that none of his friends come by_ ), even though that’s one of the reasons. Things just seem downright terrible already.

“You see, I, uh…” nervous hand habit: ruffling your own hair. Tim’s so _screwed_. “I picked up your phone.”

“You _what_?!”

“I don’t know why I did it! It was in the rush of the moment! And this guy… Your brother, I think?... He asked about you, and he didn’t let me finish anything I started saying, and‒ uh.”

Tim’s officially freaking out. Not only the absurdly attractive guy from the coffee shop, whom he asked on a date out of the blue and embarrassed himself in front of (gathering shame enough for the whole year), is here and knows his name and where he lives, but also probably talked to one of Tim’s brothers. No, not just one of Tim’s brothers: it was probably _Dick_ — Dick, who calls when Tim doesn’t answer his messages, who babbles proudly about Tim’s personal life to strangers, who doesn’t let people _talk_ when he’s on the phone, who‒ it can’t be worse this.

“And he…” there is a moment of hesitation in which he holds his breath as the guy averts his gaze, looking somewhat embarrassed. “He thinks I’m your boyfriend.”

Okay, scratch that. Tim’s life is a fucking _joke_.

  
  
  
  
  


He has no proper food, or anything, really, to offer. There’s a jar of water over the counter on the kitchen, and the unbrewed coffee on the broken coffee machine, but that sums up — and it’s not on purpose, Tim was going to go to the grocery store, he really was, just… He forgot.

The guy doesn’t seem uncomfortable by the fact that Tim doesn’t offer him anything; he seems too content on only being awkward after apologizing — _again_ — for picking up Tim’s phone. As if this whole thing is his fault. It’s not, really, but Tim’s too busy trying to figure this mess out to reassure him of it.

_Dick_ , man, _Dick_. How the hell is Tim getting out alive this time? Sure, nothing, absolutely _nothing_ , beats that time with the water balloon, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.

“So, uh, I don’t want to be rude, but we’re just going to sit here and freak out about the whole thing or…?”

“Look‒” Tim stops dead on his tracks. How do you let someone inside your house when you have no idea what their name is? Fortunately, though, he doesn’t have much time to think about any possibilities — he probably would’ve reached the worst conclusions and only made the situation worse, so it must be something good.

“Jason.”

“Uh, Jason. Ok. Right.” Tim sighs. Faster than he expects, he finds himself telling Jason the whole story. Ok, maybe not the whole story — he doesn’t tell about Kon, there’s nothing to say about Kon —, but most of it anyway.

“So you basically need a fake boyfriend or else you’re going to be on bad terms with your family?”

“More or less…” it’s not like that, but he doesn’t know how to explain his crazy family antics. “I mean, they’re not going to be mad at me,” except Steph. And Damian. And maybe, maybe, _maybe_ , Dick, “they’re just going to be…” Tim drifts off, uncomfortable.

“Disappointed.” Jason concludes to him, and he’s nodding softly.

“Yeah.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence. Tim doesn’t know yet if he’s relieved someone else knows, even if it’s a guy he just met, or if he should feel pathetic.

When Jason speaks up again, he’s talking so low, Tim’s not really sure he hears it right.

“I could be your fake boyfriend.”

“What?”

“Don’t give me that look. I know this is beyond weird, it’s just...” Jason stops, apparently pondering over whatever it is that he was going to say. “I know what it's like when you want someone to be proud of you.” his mouth twitches slightly, and he shrugs. “Besides, I’m sorry but I don’t think you’ll find someone to pretend when it’s already this late. We go, have dinner with your family, we come back. No big deal, no hard feelings. Then you can come up with the excuse that we broke up because I was an ass or something, I don’t know. Your family gets happy, you get rid of the problem.”

It must say something about him that Tim actually _thinks about it_ before frowning.

“Suppose… Suppose I’m considering your offer.” he says, warily. “What would you want in return?”

Jason’s eyes widen comically. Any other situation, and Tim would’ve thought he’s cute — right now, he’s just uncomfortable. People just don’t go pretending to be someone else’s fake boyfriend, at least not in his head. There must be some ulterior move, some reason, something he’s missing.

Guess what: Tim doesn’t like feeling left out. Especially not if it’s something that concerns him.

“You don’t expect me to believe you’re doing this out of the goodness of your heart, do you?” he mutters. There’s a flicker of anger at that.

“Hey!” To his credit, Jason does seem a bit offended at his words. But then, Tim’s good at pushing people’s buttons, even when he doesn’t mean to. Maybe it’s not something he should be proud of, but tearing up lies and finding out the truth behind them is the one thing he’s good at.

“Look”, Tim hesitates, “I’m not saying you’re… Well… I’m not saying your bad or anything,” except that he’s totally implying it, “I just don’t want to risk it, you know? I mean. Dude. It’s my _family_. Usually people don’t go out of their way to help strangers unless they want something in return.” and, yeah, Jason’s handsome and all, and he doesn’t really _seem_ to have some ulterior move, but no one can really blame Tim for being too careful when it comes to this.

“I don’t know.” Jason shrugs, kinda standoffish, but there’s some tension back in his shoulders. “I mean, you look like a good guy, Tim. It wouldn’t hurt to help you, right?” there’s a “it’s not my fault most of people are jerks” implied somewhere. “Besides, maybe it’ll make my best friend get off my back trying to get me a date if he thinks I’m already seeing someone.“

“Your best friend?”

“Roy.” at this, it’s Jason time to be uncomfortable. “I’m sure he thinks I came searching for you to take on your offer.”

“You mean, you saying you can be my fake boyfriend for one night, and the only thing you want in return is that I do the same in front of your friend?” flabbergasted is probably the best word to describe Tim right now. He tries not to think too much into the fact that Jason’s best friend thinks he would accept to date him — it doesn’t mean anything, really.

Jason stays quiet for a moment or two before his shoulders sag.

“Ok, I understand, this is completely crazy. And. Weird. Probably.” he sighs. “Just… Forget I’ve ever said something, right? I won’t bother you, I promise.”

He’s already standing and going his way towards the door when Tim snaps out of his astonishment and goes after him.

“Wait!” his mouth stutters on the words. “I, uh. I think we could do it. To pretend we’re boyfriends, I mean.” they just need to come up with a convicing story. And make whatever they can to stop his family from meeting Jason’s best friend. And, okay, maybe it’s still not a good idea, but he’s willing to risk it.

If Jason’s tentative smile at him makes Tim’s heart skip a beat or two — it’s just the adrenaline of knowing this is the most stupid thing he’s ever done, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Don't try this at home, kids.~~
> 
> If you got the reference, you probably deserve a hug or something. ~~And I'm totally high-fiving you :D~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Anyone remember what I said about my muse running away screaming bloody murder? ~~three months. that must be a new record or something~~ On a side note, it's completely my sister's fault that I didn't stop writing completely; she wouldn't leave me alone. ~~not that you're not being amazing with your reviews and all... it's just that sometimes I really stop, stare at the things I wrote, and then ask myself: now what?~~ You should be probably thanking her ~~or not~~.
> 
> Anyway. I have no idea how to answer to any of you. I mean, the comments. I have no idea how to answer, because I'm socially awkward even through the internet. I'm sorry ;-; (but I must say: thank you, anon, DefyingGravityD and gnarley, because your feedback on the last chapter was amazing. I wish I could answer you properly but... Ugh.)
> 
> This chapter has a bit less of humour because... Well. Because. Not that it's a sad chapter or anything, I just don't think there was a lot moments to squish funny things in between.
> 
> As always, all mistakes are my own. I hope you like it :D

## 

Chapter Four: Small Talk

#### 

Alternatively: top 10 list of things a fake boyfriend should know

The possibility that the plan is going to work decreases a lot the moment Tim asks Jason “what now” and the other doesn’t know what to answer. In his defense, he actually comes to open his mouth and ponder over his words, but he doesn’t say anything and just keeps on looking like a dead fish — a very pretty dead fish, Tim feels like he should say, but, hey, no one cares.

“We need a story.” he muses, shaking his head to gather up his thoughts.

They _do_ need a story. A convincing one, preferably.

“First things first then. Where did we meet?”

Considering most of Tim’s time is split between college and his family, he doesn’t really know. It’s not like he usually goes out to do anything, watch movies, take a walk on the park, whatever. The places where he could’ve met Jason are incredibly scarce.

“We probably should stick to the truth somewhere.”

“The coffee shop, you mean?” Jason cringes a bit. “That seems a bit cliché. Won’t your family suspect anything?”

“Considering I don’t go out much, I think they won’t.” Jason doesn’t need to know about his pathetic social skills. Hopefully.

“Right. What then?” Tim’s pretty sure he doesn’t seem content with their story so far, but, hey, you can’t always get what you want.

“Then… You spilled your coffee on me and insisted to help?”

“Are we sticking on to the romcom story?” Jason frowns.

It’s Tim’s time to cringe.

“Well, when you put it like that…” actually, maybe the romcom thing is a good idea. He’s pretty sure Bruce won’t like it too much, and will be suspicious, but he’s suspicious of everyone and everything, so nothing new here. Damian will think it’s stupid, and roll his eyes a bit — or a lot —, but the boy has even less social skills than him, and he doesn’t even _watch_ romcoms, so Tim thinks they’re safe with the boy. Now, _Dick_ , Dick is a bit of a fan of romcoms — which Tim’s sure it’s Selina’s fault, with a bit of Cass’ help —, and there’s two scenarios that can follow: 1) he thinks it’s cute and approves it all, or, 2) he thinks it’s bullshit and calls Tim out on his lie. Which will be troublesome. But if a few of them believe him, maybe Dick will believe him too, and things will turn out okay?

“You’re over thinking.” Jason grimaces. “Romcom isn’t usually my thing, but it’s your family, so.” he shrugs. “What then? First date? First kiss? When did we start dating, anyway?”

Tim can already feel the headache coming. It’s not even ten already, what the hell.

“Why do I have to decide it all alone?” he’s not pouting. He’s an adult, adults don’t pout — though the look Jason’s sending him makes him wonders if he actually _does_ pout.

“Well, since I don’t really know what you like, woudn’t make more sense if you made up the story? Besides, I don’t think paintball would make a good first date story.” Jason suddenly seems a bit lost on thought. “Or maybe go watching some sort of game? I mean, what kind of sports are you into?”

Tim’s not really into sports. Sure, he took wrestling classes when he was younger, he actually likes martial arts a bit, and no one who’s close to Dick can live without taking a liking to gymnastics, but nothing beyond that. Hell, he barely knows anything about baseball or hockey, or whatever it is that Jason is trying to say.

“Oh, no. I know this look. The ‘I don’t really like sports’ look.” Jason stares at him in despair. “Please, tell me there’s _one thing_ you like. Even if it’s chess, speedcubbing, whatever!”

“I… Uh.” Tim doesn’t think the knowledge that he _likes_ chess will change anything — besides, who even plays chess on a first date?

Jason deadpans.

“Okay, this… This is completely crazy.” he shakes his head in a very I-can’t-believe-you-just-did-that way. “Don’t you have any list? I mean, something along the lines of ‘top 10 things a fake boyfriend should now about his fake date’.” the worst part of how he says it: Tim’s not even sure if he’s kidding. “I don’t need to know every single detail about your life, but I seriously doubt anyone will believe we’re dating if I do a slip about something you clearly don’t like.”

“You mean like… Favourite movie? Music taste? Stuff like that?”

Jason nods.

“Yeah. Stuff like that.”

Well. So much for not being mocked by his tastes.

  


  


  


“Titans, Impulse, Ted Kord, and your favourite superhero is Blue Beetle.” Jason counts on his hands. “Am I forgetting something?”

Tim only smiles at him warily, waiting for some sideline comment about how Blue Beetle isn’t even a _real hero_ or something. That’s the most common, though some people tend to talk about how Ted Kord didn’t even do _that much_ of films, or how Titans isn’t a _good_ band, or even that Impulse it’s not an _interesting_ tv show.

The comment never comes.

“Wait.” Jason chews on his lower lip for a few seconds. “You also drink too much coffee for it to be healthy, your favourite time is when it’s already dark, and you hate summer, because it’s too hot and you can’t go anywhere without feeling as if your melting by the sidewalk.”

When he receives no response whatsover, Jason frowns, obviously unhappy.

“Okay, what did I forget? Is it something important? Is the whole story we made going to crash and burn to ashes because of me?”

“What? No!” Tim’s eyes widen. “It’s just… I’m just thinking if there’s something more you should know. I mean, something a boyfriend would probably know.” It’s not exactly true, but Jason accepts the answer anyway, even though he seems a bit suspicious — his right eyebrow is doing something funny. Tim’s too dazed by the fact nobody’s making fun of him to feel guilty — or even dwell on the fact that he thinks he may be able to decipher Jason’s facial expressions when they barely know each other.

“I think that’s it.” he finally says after a few seconds, and smiles at Jason, more openly this time. “What about you?”

“There’s not much to say.” Jason shrugs almost nonchalantly, which earns him a rise of an eyebrow. “I mean it.” and then, almost shyly. “Rachel Roth was the best thing to ever happen in superhero movies, though. Her acting skills pretty much nailed everything on the last Raven movie.”

Tim’s pretty sure he’s gaping.

“Wait. Do you like the Raven series and Rachel Roth?” the prospect of faking this whole things looks _a lot brighter_ already — and not only because Jason genuinely is starting to look like a good guy to him, but because Tim is yet to meet someone who’s Rachel Roth’s fan and whom he doesn’t get along well with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is kind of sudden, but it was supposed to be this way... And yes, I _had_ to put Rachel in here somewhere, even if only a brief comment. I was thinking of giving Garfield and Vic some cameos, too, but I don't know if I can fit them somewhere (since Koriand'r will show up on later chapters and all). ~~I have no idea about Tara, though...~~
> 
> (did any of you notice something... Strange, with the beginning of the chapter? No? Because there is. Poor Tim.)
> 
> Next chapter has already been started, but I have no idea when it will be updated. Hopefully, before 2016 arrives, though I can't promise you anything (I intend on doing a longer chapter, after all). But if it serves as any comfort ~~I hope it does~~ , I have the outline of the next twelve chapters or so, and unless some character decides they want a plot twist I didn't see coming, writing should go smoothly :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... Hello?... :D  
> Not before 2016, I know. ~~two months after the beginning of 2016, in fact~~ BUT at least it didn't take as long as last chapter, right? ~~right? :D~~  
>  Anyway. It turned out relatively okay in the end? I mean, my sister didn't even have to threaten me this time. Apparently my muse decided she would be nice this time, and while the chapter isn't the length I wanted it to be ~~you can't always get what you want and all~~ , it's at least a reasonable length ~~1k and something~~.
> 
> This chapter is a bit dramatic, but bordering on... Dramedy ~~is this even a word~~. I mean, remember what I said about trying to break my habit of only ever writing angst with a little bit of humour and happiness here and there? Well. I think it's working. Kinda. Whenever I think the characters are starting to get just on the edge of jumping the line between "drama queen"/angst, or when they're too serious, they do or think something that shifts the situation entirely and makes it seem... Like... Ugh, I don't know an english word to describe it.
> 
> Anyway. I would like (again) to thank you for the wonderful comments on last chapter (Assembleavenger, MaliciousVegetarian and Alexicon, you're all amazing). I will try and get around answering them, eventually ~~I really hope so~~ , but until them... Heart emoji for you: ❤.
> 
> As always, all mistakes are my own. I hope you like it :D

## 

Chapter Five: The Wayne Manor, pt. 1

**Alternatively: Dick will eat him alive, and Tim probably wouldn't make a good kidnapper anyway (not that he plans on kidnapping Jason or anything)**

Right before the cab comes to get them — no way in hell he was going to let any of his brothers or sisters come to get them —, Tim has his eyes glued on Jason’s face, trying to analyze him the way he thinks his family will probably do. When he finally accepts the fact that staring at the other boy — and at this time, Jason’s already shifting uncomfortably under his gaze — won’t make the night pass any quicker, Tim sighs tiredly and tries turning his attention to something else that might be important.

Holes on their planned story, for example.

“So… Do you have any questions? I mean, about my family.”

He tried not to dwell too much on details while talking before. Tim knows he’s not the type to spill out everything and family problems on the first date — it took _months_ for Kon to even _hear_ him talking about Dick, and he’s not about to try and pretend he and Jason are a lot closer than that; not when he’s not really comfortable himself when it comes to talking about it, and not when he knows his family wouldn’t buy the story, either.

“I, uh, actually, I do.” Jason frows softly, as if choosing his words. “How many siblings do you have? Is there going to be a lot of people in the house?” his eyes drift quickly to something on the other side of the street before coming back to Tim. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious.”

He doesn’t seem _only curious_ , but Tim’s not about to probe or anything. Maybe Jason isn’t taking it as camly as he let on earlier, and, honestly, Tim can’t blame him.

“I… Well, you see, it’s a bit complicated.” there’s not an easy way to put it. The Waynes are… Something else entirely. Most of time Tim doesn’t know how to deal with his own family, how can he expect a stranger to do it? “I mean, my father, he’s actually my adoptive father. All my brothers and sisters, see, none of them is…” to say “blood of my blood” seems so _strange_ ; especially since it’s been a really long time since Tim last thought of them as anything else than his _family_. It feels almost like an offense to tell Jason they’re not really family this way, because they _are_. Sure, they fight a lot, and they’re not always together, and they all have their own secrets to keep, but that’s just life.

“You are all adopted?” Jason finally asks after a few seconds of silence, and Tim nods, happily accepting the out the other boy is giving him.

“Yeah. And there’s also some of my other parents, I mean, I don’t even know if they’re really my parents, but they’ve always been like uncles and aunts to me, and I consider them part of the family.”

“Oh. I see.”

Jason doesn’t look like he understands, not really — but at least he’s not judging, and this is more than Tim would’ve hoped for were him anyone else.

“So…” Jason chews on his lower lip for a moment, as if pondering his words. “Dick?”

“Uh?” Tim’s heart skips a beat.

“Your brother? I mean, the one who called you earlier?”

Oh. Oh. _Oh_. Dear God—!

"I forgot. I mean, I absolutely forgot that." Tim's brain is probably going over-drive. He hadn't — didn't even consider that. And now — if Dick talked to Jason, worse, if Jason said _anything_ — "What did you tell him?"

Startled by the urgency in his tone, Jason widens his eyes, and stares at Tim — like a deer in the caught in the headlights, Tim's traitorous mind suplies, and, God, _God_ , he's not gonna like this one bit, will he? 

"Jason, _what did you tell him?_ "

"I didn't tell him _anything_!", the funny thing is: Jason seems about just as desperate as him. Which is... Not funny at all, if he actually thinks about it. "I mean, not that I can remember of!", and then a moment of hesitation. "Is this really important?"

Good gods, Dick's gonna _eat him alive_. Or maybe not — Tim thinks he might have a chance of running away if he sacrifices Jason in order to appease his brother.

(Which would be a pity. Jason is a good person, from all Tim has gathered until now, and Tim actually _likes_ him. He really does. Maybe he can grab the poor guy and make a run for it?... Probably not. That would only make Dick angrier, and no one, absolutely no one, deserves Dick Grayson's wrath.)

"Tim?", it's the tone that gets to him. The tone, and the way Jason chews on his bottom lip, clearly upset by the fact that maybe he's fucked this up, that maybe things won't work out and it'll be all his fault.

"I don't know", Tim admits, albeit relutanctly. "It... It would be easier to say if you could remember what Dick told you but— he's... Even then, I can't tell for sure. He's not an easy person to read." well, at least that's true.

If anything, Jason only looks _guiltier_ , and that tugs at something in Tim's guts.

(He's literally — are those puppy eyes? Tim thought that was a fictional thing, no one should be allowed to look so _dejected_ , dammit!)

"But, hum, maybe nothing happened?", it's hard to say he's overreacting. Tim _never_ overreacts; he's realist, that's all. Besides, comforting people has never been his strong suit — scratch that, comforting people has never been something Tim _does_ , because most of time Tim doesn't _do_ emotions and that's probably problematic on _so many levels_ , but it's just how things are, how they've always been. "I mean, maybe you didn't say anything that could possibly endanger... Things... Uh." that was probably rude to say.

Jason chuckles softly. Though that uncertainty has disappeared — which is good.

"You're not really good at this, are you?"

"I... Try. Sometimes", Tim shrugs, and then he spots the cab turning down the street.

(Thank God. He doesn't know how much longer he could wait here and not convince himself that flying away to China or somewhere else just as far away would be a better idea.)

"Sure you don't want to give up? You can call it quits right now, and we can both pretend that this never happened", he has no idea why he's saying this. Every part of his brain is screaming at him that he should just tie Jason up and drag him to the manor before the guy realizes what kind of thing he's gotten himself into and runs away screaming — but Tim could never do that. Probably. Even though kidnapping Jason and then running away to China seems a better plan than running away alone — which doesn't even make sense, considering Tim doesn't plan on kidnapping anyone, not really. "Last chance."

Jason rises an eyebrow at him before shaking his head noncomitally.

"Nah. Where would be the fun of that?" and then the cab stops just a few feet of them, and Jason smiles, motioning for him to go first. "Let's do this, Timmy." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is at 400 words already. Maybe I'll be able to finish it until weekend arrives? *crossing fingers*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday is still weekend, right? _Right_? *squints*  
>  Anyway.  
> Remember what I said about everything I write turning a little bit angsty when it comes to Jason? Soo.... Erm. ~~Excuse me while I go hide under that rock~~ But, I mean, seriously. _The potential angst_. ~~*sighs*~~
> 
> On a sidenote: I finally _finally_ **finally** got around answering your amazing comments! :D (yay!) It will take a while for me to get a hold of all of them, but I'm doing it. ~~there are unanswered comments from chapter 1. I am _screeching_ oh my god I am a horrible person~~
> 
> As it's becoming customary, thank you, Alexicon and Im2Punk_RockForThis, for the comments on the last chapter! You're amazing *u*
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I hope you enjoy :D

## 

Chapter Six: The Wayne Manor, pt. 2

**Alternatively: Jason's grave will probably say "he called his fake boyfriend Timmy", and it'll all be Roy's fault (it always is, somehow)**

**Alternatively²: Dick, in fact, just wants to sit and watch the whole world burn**

Timmy. Oh, God, Jason actually did that. He did that. He called his fake boyfriend Timmy. _What was he fucking thinking?!_

Thank God, Tim seems to nervous to have even acknowledged, or realized, the fact — but that doesn't make it any better because now Jason has to live with it alone and he's not telling Roy about it. Roy's a little shit and he'll never, _ever_ , let Jason live this down, and then when he dies Roy will put on his grave "he called his fake boyfriend Timmy", and then the whole _world_ will know — then Jason will come back from the dead to beat the living shit outta of him. That would be horrible, because knowing his luck, he'll probably become some sort of zombie like those from the movies and go bat-shit crazy trying to eat people around him — and then he'll die a second time because he'll be dangerous and the government will want him killed, and he'll never even have the chance to say to Tim that it wasn't his intention, which of course he didn't the first time because he spent years wallowing in shame, and that'll suck.

....

Okay. Where did that even come from?

Jason shakes his head. The situation is clearly getting the best of him. He's nervous, sure, but there's no reason to overreact, even though Tim seems to think he'll run away screaming the first chance he gets. Yeah, maybe Jason slipped a bit and acted in a way he's not supposed to, called him in a way that's too intimate when they're practically strangers, and he may be a bit dellusional or just careless, but on the long run nothing of it will mean anything, right?

(At least he _thinks_ Kory wouldn't let Roy put "he called his fake boyfriend Timmy" on his grave. Maybe. If she's feeling merciful.)

Jason fidgets on his seat a bit more. Part of him hopes Tim's secrecy towards his family has nothing to do with the fact that it's him, not anyone else, who's gonna play the role of the fake boyfriend — a little bit of exageration and crazy relatives Jason can deal with, but if Tim just accepted him there because he literally has no other choice; Jason's not sure he can get around that.

Besides, Tim's family can't be that bad, can they?

  


  


Jason can barely keep his hands from shaking by the time he realizes they're heading straight for the Wayne Manor.

The _Wayne_ Manor. As in, _Bruce Wayne's Manor_. He's gaping at the sight, he knows it — he was a bit distracted while Tim told the driver the address, but surely, if Tim's Bruce Wayne's son, he would've said anything, right? _Right_?

Jason quickly tries to remember if he's ever seen anything about the Wayne heirs. But it's useless, of course — Roy uses to joke he lives on his own bubble, absolutely unaware of things happening on the world around him, and while Jason's always tended to say his friend was just this tiny bit of exaggerated, he can't, for the life of him, find an argument that can prove him right, not in this moment. Yeah, he knows who Bruce Wayne is, it's kinda hard not to — Gotham is a big city, but gossip travels fast —, but that pretty much sums it. There were a few scandals in the past, a kid showing up from nowhere, a lot of people being adopted, but?

Jason fishes his wallet out of his pocket and pays for the cab ride.

"You didn't tell me you were _Wayne_ ", he whispers accusatorily when the car can no longer be seen, and they slowly make their walk up to the front door.

"Eh?" Tim widens his eyes. " _What_?"

"That's the kind of thing your real boyfriend would know, Tim!" Jason is quickly considering his next course of action. He's not going to walk out on Tim, not after coming so long, and he did say he would help. On another hand, he's probably gonna make a fool out of himself in here — this kind of thing is just not his thing, and Jason thought it was a normal family diner, but of course it's not going to be, if Tim is _Tim fucking Wayne_ then it means that—

The door swings open before any of them can ring the doorbell.

"Tim!" then Jason's being tackled by hug strong enough to make him squirm, a mop of black hair just above his chin — there's a moment of hesitation in which he almost hits (people just don't go around grabbing him this way, _dammit!_ ) whomever this is before realizing this is probably not procedure action and allowing himself to stand still, shoulders tense. "Wait." the arms disappear and Jason takes a step back, relief washing over him. "You're not Tim." well, obviously.

Besides him, Tim seems torn between facepalming or turning his back on them and going away without a word — the slight twist at the corner of his lips makes his expression seem like the only thought inside his head right now is something along the lines of "what did I do to deserve this". 

(Jason stiffles a righteous huff. _That's what you get for keeping this kind of secrets from your boyfriend, Timmy_.) 

(Well. Fake boyfriend. And not Timmy, _dammit_ , Jason needs to stop this right now!)

"Dick", Tim finally says, the tone being the one of a long-suffering soul. He almost seems resigned to his fate alredy. "This is Jason."

Dick's analyzing stare doesn't go away — not completely —, but the frown on his face turns to a delighted look which looks just this tiny bit the side of something short of _maniacal_. Jason barely resists the urge to take a few more steps behind.

"Oh! The boyfriend?" despite the weird aura — seriously, who _is_ this guy? —, Dick doesn't seem threatening; or at least not right now. Maybe he's just lulling Jason into a false sense of security, waiting for the right moment to attack. "I'm happy to finally meet you! Tim's—!... Well, he's not been talking about you non-stop since the day you finally started dating, I'm sure you know how he is. But I must say, the whole secrecy thing going around got me really curious!" Dick smiles, and then offers his hand. "I'm Dick Grayson!"

Jason glances briefly at Tim, trying to gauge if this is what his brother usually does, but Tim's face is blank while he stares at Dick. So, well, whatever — follow the plan. 

(Which means: be polite and try not to let on how clueless you are. Also, don't forget the top 10 things a fake boyfriend should know list, because that's very important to the cause.)

"Jason Todd." he tries to smile — it probably comes out as a grimace — while shaking Dick's hand and hoping his own hand isn't slick with sweat. He's never been really good at feigning to be comfortable. "I was... Curious about you, as well."

Apparently, not the right thing to say — Dick's mouth goes slack, eyes widening.

"Timmy told you about me? I mean, you talked about our family?" and Jason wants to smack himself. It hasn't been not even five minutes since they arrived, and the whole thing's already going as bad as it could get — he has no idea what was the slip here, but he's sure there was one, and they're gonna be so— "Oh, thank God!" and then Dick's crushing him again with a hug that lasts the longest five seconds of Jason's life before jumping on Tim. 

"I'm so _proud_ of you, Tim-Tam! I was afraid we would have had to stay under that weird situation where your boyfriend has literally no idea who we are!" then he smiles again, squishing, literally, squishing Tim's cheeks. "Jason's practically family, isn't he?" 

At the same time Jason mumbles a shocked "I am _what_?", Tim screeches — he screeches, there's no other word for it — a desperate " _Dick_!", and fights his way out of his brother's tight embrace. 

"You don't go around saying these _things_." Tim hisses, frowning, and, _hey_ , Jason knows he's not exactly the next best thing out there but he's not— "I didn't mean it like that, Jason."

"I know", he didn't. He gets the reason why Tim wouldn't want him to be a part of this, as in, to really be a part of this — he does —, but the one to blame isn't him, it's the crazy brother who seems to want him married to the family the next Saturday even though Jason has literally no idea who he is or what he likes or what he does for a living.

Thankfully, he's saved from having any other form of interaction with his fake boyfriend and the brother — for now — when a white-haired old man shows up on the door.

"Master Timothy, Master Richard. Your family is awaiting you." he seems to take note of Jason. "I'm sorry for Master Richard's manners, Master..." it takes him a whole ten seconds to realize the — butler? — is talking to him and then reply with a rather awkward "Uh, my name is Jason". ".... Jason. He tends to get overexcited whenever his brothers or sisters bring a significant other home, but I assure you he has no ill intent."

As if. Jason's giving it 'til the end of the night before at least one murder attempt happens.

(And maybe he'll have a _serious_ conversation with one Timmy Wayne after it. One doesn't simply let their significant other walk on things like this without at least a warning beforehand!)

(Fake significant other. _Whatever_.)

  


  


The Manor is huge. There's no other way to describe it. Jason's almost overwhelmed looking around, curiousness getting the best off of him while he analyzes the walls, the pictures, the paintings — and then everything in between while Tim and Dick whisper conspiratorilly behind his back.

(He's pretty sure he's heard his name being thrown around once or twice, and Dick whining something about "not wanting to offend anyone but Tim didn't have to say it like that", and Tim saying something along the lines of Dick having no filter and saying things without thinking about what they mean, and then Dick saying something along the lines of "you talked about us, you never talk about us to your friends, of course he's important to you and thus he's a part of the family!", and some more. But Jason's not _eveasdropping_ or anything, that's childish.) 

The butler — Alfred Pennyworth, that's what he said that was his name? — doesn't say anything, but Jason would bet he's _unfairly_ amused by the whole situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the very beginning of the next chapter... That maybe I'll be able to turn into that big chapter I was talking about ~~seriously, what's this with that every single one of the chapters I planned to be big turns into a medium-length chapter?~~.  
>  Maybe it'll take a while. But I'll try not to stay away for too long \Õ


End file.
